Chivalry Isn’t Dead – But Women Are Killing It
They say chivalry is dead. They are wrong. I still open and hold doors for ladies. I still try to walk on the traffic side of an escorted female. I use an extra measure of politeness when around the fairer sex. As long as I live, it will exist in some form. However, there are those that oppose my efforts to keep chivalry alive. The greatest surprise is that the biggest opponents are women.
I’ve been chided by a female more than once for holding the door for them. The first time it happened, I was shocked. It’s not often I’ve been treated as if I did something rude when I was intentionally being polite. The woman was irate and offended.
The problem seems to be that “liberated” women see it as a sign of weakness to accept help – even if it is as a courtesy – from a man. They fought so hard for equality that they think they are giving up ground for a man to do something for them. Their reactions are dealing the death blows to good manners.
This is chivalry’s death toll. The gallant are being discouraged by those benefiting from the gallantry. You see, chivalry isn’t convenient, or easy. In fact it is often inconvenient and seems a waste of time. It is rarely acknowledged by the recipient, and sometimes is acknowledged negatively. So the gallant give up. And chivalry receives another blow. The next time the man encounters a woman at the door, he doesn’t hold it, and if the woman expected it, chivalry receives yet another blow. The next time, she opens the door herself even though a man is nearby – and yet another blow is dealt. Chivalry fades and swoons soon to be down for the count.
All hope is not lost. As women are killing chivalry, they can also be its salvation. Acknowledge every kindness by a chivalrous male quickly, positively, and enthusiastically. Expect it. Even demand it if need be. I am convinced that if chivalry is to be revived it will be by the lips of women.
6 comments:
I definitely agree! Since I've joined an organization with people from all over the country, and am encountering different ways of reacting to the cultural differences faces us in India, I have noticed: chivalry is so nice! I realized how much I love it, and speaking with my all women team ( 5 of us), discussing it truly proved enlightening: yes, some (from the northern states) found it offensive. Some (from the west) thought it was just 'cute'. And I, from the south, LOVE it! I discussed it with them so much, and we all agreed... yes, we do have the power to encourage/discourage the act. But, it's definitely worth keeping around. Good post!
Ever so true! You hit the nail on the head. I actually expect a guy to hold open a door for me; when they don't, I shake my head on the inside. The 21st century=sad day.
Kevin, this is a very interesting subject you bring up. I do agree that it seems to be women who might be killing chivalry, at least what is left of it, however, there are many men who are not chivalrous. So I would have to argue that it's not just women, as you can't kill something that doesn't exist. It seems as though chivalry lies with men who are 30 years of age and older, and is rather fleeting with males of the younger generation. Rarely do I run into guys my age who practice chivalry, with the exception of a few guys I have dated. Even if they show the slightest amount of chivalry, it wears off after the first month of dating.
As for me, I respect a man who shows chivalry, especially in the small things such as swearing, burping and farting. You can be for certain that I will acknowledge every man who goes out of his way to do something polite for me.
I commend you on being one of the few who possess this quality.
It fills me with happiness when people are kind and hold open doors! It would really freak me out to see someone get mad about it...Also, I like your picture of the week, it made me laugh and scared.
chivalry is dead because women don't expect it. if they did, there would be far more single men in this world.
I do believe that chivalry is something that is too often taken for granted and when it is not there complained about. I agree that any small kindness needs to be acknowledged. It makes it easier to do another small kindness again. Hopefully making it a habit. Positive reinforcement works people.
I have to say that women fought for equal rights, not the total loss of our femininity. I think it shows strength in character to accept chivalry for it is a sign of respect not weakness.
K- I would like to thank you for all the times you have been gallant and never thanked. There have been many a time when I wish a door had been open for me.
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